Things Only People Driving the 91 Freeway Will Understand

If you’re from Southern California, you know there’s going to be things you see on the freeways, that 1)  make your blood boil, or 2) make you wish you had wings.

Commuting is never fun right?

There’s the dreaded “sig alerts”, the accidents, construction, and just plain mass overload of cars traveling the roads with us.  We spend a lot of time driving to work, to school, to soccer practice, to concerts, to baseball games, etc.  It’s part of the trade-off of living where the weather is always beautiful.

So if you’re used to being stuck on the 91, or ANY freeway for that matter, for any length of time, you’ve probably seen or done one of these things:

Your speed limit changes based the the tempo of the song you’re listening to on the radio. (K-Frog of course.)  You hear “Ain’t Goin’ Down Til The Sun Comes Up” from Garth Brooks and after 15 seconds, you realize you’re now doing 90 mph.  When “My Old Man” from the Zac Brown Band comes on… get over Granny… you’re doing 45.

If you spend too much time behind the same car, you start to dislike that car and the people in it. For NO REASON.  You’re just done looking at the back of their car.  Amiright?

That random LOUD motorcycle rider that zooms past you really fast and scares the **** outta you because you weren’t prepared for that loud VROOM. Generally, any Harley Davidson owner; them suckers are loud. (Heart. Attack.)

Oh hello Mr. Random Trucker, who’s merging INTO the side of my car.  Talk about wetting your pants!

Getting behind Mr. Random Trucker who’s got that one painting on the back of the truck where it looks like it’s a shelf full of groceries and the back door is wide open.  (3D stuff IS quite fascination though.)

Wondering what the hell the slow down is for miles, only to discover everyone has been lookie-loo’ing and accident, ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE FREEWAY.  (Move along, nothing to see here.)

Oh look, a shoe!  One. Shoe.  Middle. Of. Freeway.  HOW?

Guys in little trucks with enough garden tools in the bed for a BIG truck.  And that garden rake is one quick acceleration into falling OUT of that truck and stabbing you in the jugular.

Getting stuck behind the stick-figure-family from hell.  Thank you for letting us know you are fertile.  Bumper stickers are so 1998.

The “Right Hand Turn Around the World” car.  Turn your blinker OFF please. (But kudos for actually using one!)

“The Creeper” Car.  You know who you are.  You’re pacing me.  “Do NOT look over.. do NOT look over.”

Hybrid driving Co-Exister’s: I totally appreciate you wanting to save the environment Maddy the Millenial; I know you love everyone, and that’s great!  I agree! However, you’ve been riding my a** for 15 minutes.  Can you remove yourself from my aura before I brake-check you?

Roasting Marshmallows in the fast lane guy.  Reminder:  the fast lane is for passing.  Once you pass someone, you move over one lane and enjoy your ride.  You don’t STAY in the fast lane or it defeats its purpose.  Mmmmkay?

Quick mergers.  Stop it!  These are the people we see stuck in traffic in the slow lane near an off-ramp, and you’re in the 2nd lane cruisin’ at a comfortable 64mph, when “quick merger” man decides to jut into your lane forcing you to slam on your brakes and spill your Monster Energy drink all over your cars’ interior.

Honk me off’ers:  Stopped on the freeway, the car in front starts to go, so you get ready to proceed as well, and the guy behind you lays on the horn. I need more than a nanosecond to pull it outta “park” dude.

Hello Mr. Tap-Out-Sticker-Big-Truck-Drivin’-Dude-Wearing-an-Affliction-Shirt.  Rolling your window down and blasting Nickleback while we’re at a complete traffic standstill will not make us think you are any cooler.

Ok, time to take a deep breath. We’re all a few hours away from calling it a day and getting back on these roads.  Remember kids… always buckle up for safety. 🙂

 

 

 

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